I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
