help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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