What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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