my mouth tastes like poor choices
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
