just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
