Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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