god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
