Screwed.edu
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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