he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
