Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
