You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
