you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
