I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dicks are not precious.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
