brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
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CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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