so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
