New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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