My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
True strength comes from lack of pants
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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