my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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