There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize