were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
