Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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