She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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