i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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