we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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