As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Never underestimate the power of titties
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
