so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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