That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
