He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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