I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
