covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
