just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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