she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
