yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize