Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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