people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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