i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
