I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize