would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
