don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
