Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
