omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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