My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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