So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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