Me too!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she peed on how many people?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
