Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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