Life is so much better after having sex.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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