Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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