Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
