Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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