How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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