Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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