Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
