Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
