Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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