I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
