Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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