so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She bit a glass in half.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
