A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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