what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You made out with two different species that night
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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