4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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