I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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